<UL>
<LI>This Just In: New Study Reveals 82% Of Naysayers Always Say Nay<BR>
<LI>Breaking News: Gas Prices Rise 4 Cents Nationwide, Motorists Panic<BR>
<LI>"If Richard Bouldin Wins The Election For State Auditor, I'm Going To Puke" Says Columnist Mable Gupta<BR>
<LI>Franklin Pierce Memorial High School Student Suspended 9 Days For Using Independent Thought: An Exclusive Report<BR>
<LI>Giant Mutant Cockroaches Created By Scientists At Southeast Florida Ivy League College<BR>
<LI>Stop The Presses: Audit Reveals Federal Government Spent $151 Million On Toilet Paper Last Year<BR>
<LI>This Just In: London's "Big Ben" Found To Be 4 Minutes Slow<BR>
<LI>Ronald Reagan Memorial High School To Require Uniforms, Students Plan To Strike: A Special Report<BR>
<LI>This Just In: Guardian Angel Slaughters Pittsburgh Computer Programmer<BR>
<LI>New Study Reveals 31% Of Statistics Are Misleading<BR>
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