• Breaking News: Computer Possessed By Satanic Daemon
  
• Researchers Discover 83% Of Delaware Residents Can't Name Their US Senator
  
• Stop The Presses: Chicken Undergoes Sex-Change Operation In Maine!
  
• Hardees Mascot Gets Audited By The IRS!
  
• Opinion: Hardees's Latest Promotion Is A Joke
  
• Tigers Beat The Dodgers 4-1 After 12 Innings
  
• Opinion: I'm Renouncing My US Citizenship And Moving To Belize
  
• This Just In: Researchers Discover 47% Of West Virginia Residents Believe The Internet Is Evil
  
• Opinion: It's All A Vast Left-Wing Conspiracy
  
• Slobidan Milosevich Caught In Middle Of Bizarre Love Triangle!